RecapGood evening everyone! Or good afternoon… Most of you are probably tuning in to Saturday night college football in America but as you know all our players are in Korea. Wait, none of you knew our players are in Korea?? Don’t you all know it is Presidents Cup weekend?? Hope you all love golf as much as I do! The course is long and has stunning city views. Hopefully all our players show up! Below are some highlights from the practice rounds since the tournament started Thursday morning. As you all know, practice rounds are 9-hole mini tournaments with each starting player participating in hole. Good thing each starting team has 12 players because ties end up playing a 3 additional hole playoff with IDPs. U.S. Team International Team The 90 Degree Putters Big City Hillbillies River Gypsies Northside Angles Indian Outlaws THE Mullynation 302 Cadets Boy Toys 2: Muddy Boogaloo Troll Hunters Smell My Finger Smell My Finger @ The 90 Degree Putters Scorecard 90DP were off to a real slow start when Josh Brown missed a 4 ft par putt on the first hole (equivalent to missing an extra point in football) and left himself a 6 ft comeback which he also missed taking a double bogey. Bailey hit a good lag putt and won the hole with a par. Seahawks hit a long drive but Denver hit a close wedge for the birdie and the win. At this point SMF was up 2 after 2 but it was downhill from there. Ertz hit two balls in the water and in his pocket giving up the 3rd hole and Steve Smith Jr. injured himself after attempting a shot out of a bush. Cobb and Evans both bogeyed the 5th after missing the green on the shorter par-3. Maclin continued his above average play with a birdie and Crabtree hit 4 good shots but it was not enough. At this point SMF was down 1 with 3 to play. Spiller was able to eagle the par-5 6th with his soft hands (99 receiving yard, 1 receiving TD and ZERO carries, he might need to be benched next week). Hyde could not get in a rhythm and was gifted a par losing the hole. Hill attempted a comeback by getting a hole-in-one on the 8th (3 TDs on 8 carries) but Dalton ended with a solid par on 9. Result: 90Degree Putters win 2UP Northside Angels @ Big City Hillbillies Scorecard A boring full hole results in both kickers lagging birdie putts for par. Both were still getting over the timezone change to Korea. The Packers flexed their muscles with a bomb of a drive and a 6-iron into the par-5. An easy eagle putt went in to put NSA 1UP after two as the Cardinals ended with a par (still on a high from the DOUBLE EAGLE last week (39-pt performance)). The big hitting Graham and Olsen sucked and followed each other from bunker to bunker. Both ended with bogies (less than 2 points…). Keenen Allen evened up the match with a birdie on the short par-4. He put himself in a tough spot but made a long putt for the bird (4 catches, 1 for a TD). Fitzgerald went on cruise control for an easy par (8 pts) after two killer weeks for NSA. Hopkins kept the birdies rolling and TY hit the green side bunker on his tee shot. TY almost holed out but missed on the low side. Chris Johnson and James Jones tied the 6th with BCH 1UP with 3 to play. Doug Martin played stellar (20 pts) and hit enough good shorts for a birdie putting BCH 2UP. With NSA’s superstars still on the tee, he was not concerned and believed he had a chance to win the 3-hole playoff if A Rodg and AP could win their holes. Both players underperformed leaving NSA with the loss. AP got a good par on the tough 8th hole but Forte played it safe also getting a 3 for a par. This locked up with win for BCH 2UP with 1 to play and Rodgers let Philip Rivers birdie the 9th and saving his own shots for next week. It was a way better match than the 2UP with 1 to play and NSA convinced BCH to continue with the playoff holes for fun. NSA knew his guys were ready and could’ve won if his offensive players showed up to their potential. NSA’s IDPs went Eagle, Birdie, Eagle (11 pts, 10 pts & 7 pts!! huge numbers for IDPS) showing their firepower! BCH showed his IDPs were still top caliber players going Birdie, Birdie, Birdie. BCH applauded the effort but shared some advice that in golf (as in Fantasy Football) the offense wins championships, not the defense. Result: Big City Hillbillies wins 2UP with 1 to play Troll Hunters @ River Gypsies Scorecard Overall, this was one of the slower matches of the day. They were the 3rd tee time which means there was not the excitement of leading off the morning or ending the day. Basically something amazing needed to happen to draw any attention (which happened on the 7th!!!). Let us go back to the beginning though. SO MANY BOGIES! Even after checking the players on the bench, no one was making birdies or even pars. Some players on injury, some on “BYE”? Not sure what a BYE is in golf but we’ll work with it. Tucker birdies the first which was a solid start for the Gypsies. Crosby, guess what?, got a bogey (GB only scoring 17 pts as a team should be considered a team bogey). Bills and Eagles defense, way too many shots for both teams, bogies. Reed got hurt but almost tied the hole with a double bogey. Witten embarrassed himself with a bogey but somehow won the hole. After 3 holes the score was tied. Cooper, Johnson, Abdullah, Miller, Matthews, Sanders all got bogies!! Oh wait, Sanders and Cooper tied the 4th with a par but a par on the short par-4 feels like a bogey. Still all tied after 6 holes. Then the magic started. Freeman hit the purest shot I’ve ever seen on the par-5. He’s not the biggest hitter so he had to go driver off the deck and holed out from 280 yards! A double eagle was impressive to watch especially after he shot a 62 personal best at Edina Country Club the week before. 1UP with 2 remaining Gypsies went to their star on the 230+ yard par 3. Bell got a great birdie (129 yards, 1 TD) and has been a stud for 2 weeks. Maybe those drugs are still in his system after his suspension (does marijuana and booze make RBs better?). CJ has been shooting in the high 80s all year and he might lose his tour card… Troll Hunters didn’t have high hopes and he bogeyed the 8th to ensure the loss. Matt Ryan still pumped from his teammate’s double eagle and the pressure off from already securing the win ended with a par. Brees’ birdie did nothing to help Troll Hunters week 4 struggles but showed that he can be relied on in future matches. Result: River Gypsies win 2UP with 1 to play Indian Outlaws @ 302 Cadets Scorecard Alright, Troll Hunters and Gypsies had some bogey trouble but Outlaws and Cadets both had way too many double bogeys. They started off splitting the first two holes to remain even after 2. McManus had two real pretty shots setting up a birdie putt for with win (sorry Vikings fans…). Bryant has almost too many safe shots but his coach took his driver, irons and wedges and forced him to hit his putter 6 times!! (get it, he got 6 extra points…. Sorry not funny.). Panthers showed their strength and really tamed a par-4 that was not giving up many birdies. The Outlaws had a lot of talent on the bench (Ivory 22pts, Johnson 12pts, Manning 16pts) but the fact that Kelce finished the hole gave him the victory this week. He ended with a pathetic double bogey but Ebron COULDN’T FINISH THE HOLE! After a tee shot right down the middle he stepped on a sprinkler head and couldn’t continue. He could’ve ended with a double or he could’ve gotten a last second birdie (game winning TD pass). We’ll never know because he was carted off the course. Outlaws were 1UP after three and pars by Thomas and AJ along with double bogies from Beckham Jr and Brown (less than 5 pts for either of them is terrible….) kept Outlaws 1UP. The 6th whole broke the ties with Landry for the Cadets made a long hole winning par putt while Foster is still trying to get comfortable standing up. All tied up going into the 7th hole Gore, Murray, Lacy, Yeldon, Palmer and Taylor tied each other the last 3 hole, which BRINGS US TO EXTRA HOLES! First extra hole match of the tournament (practice tournament to be exact)! Barr was extremely impressive holing out from a green side bunker for birdie (kinda like an INT..), while Brown missed his 15 ft putt to keep the score tied. Ware was able to safely hit the par-3 green to make par after watching Griffen hitting his tee ball in the water. Result: Indian Outlaws wins in extra holes. After tying the front 9, his team wins 2UP with 1 to play Boy Toys 2: Muddy Boogaloo @ Mullynation Scorecard Who knew this would be such an intense matchup. The only thing that would make this better was if 1) they were on opposing US and International teams and 2) it was actually the final round in a 2 to 2 tied tournament on Sunday! It was the final match of the day so let us all pretend the outcome was a little more important than a practice round. This was the most back and forth match and it all ends in controversy. Mully gets off to a strong start with Catanzaro and his monster leg (monster legs help in golf). His eagle (18 AND .3 pts (shared tackle)) helped fend off Vinatieri’s birdie. The most birdie making golfer in golf’s (NFL’s) history!. Boy Toys 2 game back with a strong birdie on two with the Jets playing the par-4 perfectly. After the back and forth first two holes everyone knew it was going to be a close one. Now, controversy #1: Mully someone got the rules official to change the order of her line-up. She was able to get the big hitting Eifert not to play the par-5 3rd. Not that might not make sense but she knew he was hitting snap hooks all week and didn’t trust him missing the water on the left (yes, there is water on the 3rd hole! Google it if you don’t believe me!). Rawls the shorter hitter was able to keep it consistent and get his green in reg with a 2 putt par. Boy Toys coach (Dan Rosenthal) was too focused on all the perks of being a newlywed and did not argue the replacement (did not get out of bed, if you know what I mean…). Cameron had bunker trouble from the being and ended up with a bogey losing the 3rd hole, the toughest hole of the day (playing almost a full stroke over par). Moncrief was able to fight back and with the 4th with Cooks 3 putting from just on the green. All tied after 4, Vincent Jackson shows that he still has some game by sticking a bullet 4 inches from the hole. Julio did not have an answer and Mully went lost another hole and went down 1. With no water in sight, the 6th hole plays much better into Eifert’s strengths. He was able to scramble for a par while Gordon whiffed once succumbing to the pressure. Charles won the 7th with a par but Murray continued his bogey streak to lose the 8th. Ingram hit some good shots but Murray should’ve been benched for Decker (moving Rawls to the RB2 spot). Carr was up against the future HOF P Manning but he wasn’t going to let his nerves get to him (or was he?). After both missing the green to the right after 2 shots, we had a chip off from the bunker (again check the course, there is a bunker there). Manning caught the ball a little thin and flew the ball over the green (INT #1). He then thinned the ball again back in to the original bunker (INT #2). Carr knew this was his hole to win and calmly knocked the shot to 3 ft. Manning like the pro his is refocused and chipped within 2 inches, taping his ball in for a 6. Carr tapped in his par and hands in the air celebrated the victory for Mullynation. But wait… Someone on television saw something. Carr had been careless with his sandwedge and it looked as if he touched the sand prior to hitting his chip. This would be a terrible mistake potentially costing Mullynation the win. After a long video review it was -determined a 2-stroke penalty be incurred for grounding his club in the sand (Stat correction adding a fumble). Mully is fuming and screaming at Carr and threatens to drop him immediately (but she can’t because it’s only Sunday and he’s locked until Tuesday…). Guess we’re going back to overtime! Both DLs take it super easy after the Carr mistake. Boy Toy’s DL hits a tight second shot after Quinn needs to layup after hitting it in the deep rough. A poor third results in bogey and Boy Toy’s have a change to take an early lead. But wait! Not another rules infraction!! Boy Toy’s assistant coach (not named for safety reasons) whispered advice about the 3 ft putt! Stop cheating people! Another two stroke penalty (stat correction taking away a tackle) tying the first playoff hole. We get to the par-3 17th and Norman is as -cool as ice and knocks in a hole-in-one (21 pts for a DB is pretty much a hole in one) to put Mully one hole away from victory! Final hole, par-5 and the final controversy ends the day in a stunning fashion. After David hit a poor shot which ricocheted into the water off a stone assumed to be in play, Mully was scared to find out what would happen if her and Boy Toy’s were tied after the playoff holes (she’d lose because of aggregate score’s on the regulation par 3’s). Realizing her hopes of victory were gone she planned to hold her head high and admit defeat. As David was planning to take his drop in front of the water hazard (finishing with most likely a double bogey verse Posluszny’s par), a local official comes running over to stop him. “WE HAVE A LOCAL RULE HERE” he yells (that’s what we call home field advantage) and it allows you to re-hit any shot that hits the New Songdo City Peace Rock (stat correction adding a tackle). Mully was speechless and hoped David could keep calm enough to finish with a par. He taps in a 2 footer and Mully with 1UP after extra holes. Result: Mullynation wins 1UP in extra holes. Additional Stats: WEEK 5 Power Rankings Predictions1)The 90° Putters: obvious choice at 4-0
2)River Gypsies: 1 tough loss and has 4 solid weeks of scoring 3)Big City Hillbillies: strong offense heavy team, big win against NSA 4)Northside Angels: strong defense and big pt getting players, boom or bust 5)Mullynation: I might regret having her on above her husband but she’s scrappy and shown she can win with luck or without Luck 6)Indian Outlaws: tons of big name players but ODB needs to start getting in the endzone and Lacy needs to stay healthy 7)302 Cadets: had a chance to leap frog Outlaws but a rough Monday night game left him a few pts short 8)Smell My Finger: a big win this week would make him a strong contender to pull himself out of the bottom 3 9)Boy Toys 2: might want to think about changing your name. Obviously the GMMBP name change magic didn’t help you again Mullynation (she changed her name back so fast I don’t even remember it) 10)Troll Hunters: RB troubles are keep low pt totals, sorry bro but you’ll need a win or strong showing to move up River Gypsies @ The 90° Putters – home field advantage might play a part this week Boy Toys 2: Muddy Boogaloo @ 302 Cadets – some tough losses to good teams is going to make this a must win for 302 Indian Outlaws @ Troll Hunters – continued RB problems at Shake It Off are my biggest concern Northside Angels @ Smell My Finger – with AP out SMF has a good chance this week Big City Hillbillies @ Mullynation – upset pick, we’ll see if Murray get’s the start and if Bradford can be the starter Outlaws believed in weeks 1-3.
1 Comment
Evan
10/15/2015 03:08:49 pm
This was a really cool idea and well executed. Thanks, Chris.
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By: Hayden HansonMr. Hayden Hanson (Editor in Chief) is an Accountant-extraordinaire, as well as an aspiring writer. He has written several moderately-successful self-help books, the most famous of which is "What Do You Mean You Can Smell My BO?" Gustav Travers of the New York Times praised the book as "A vulnerable, courageous look into the mind of a man who has literally no sense that other people exist. And also no sense of smell. Nope, he definitely doesn't have that either. Just musk, like a hog that's gotten into the cabbage." Archives
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