Prior Week ApologizesSo as everyone knows we have missed a few weeks on the blog. I could give you some lame answer about how there was a mix up in the scheduling, the "servers" went down, it was our bye weeks, or we are suffering too much emotionally to keep the blog up to date. As the Editor and Chief it is my responsibility to make sure my staff have the proper time to grieve over what has transpired over the past few weeks. However, some are grieving more then others. The lead staff and team leader of NorthSide Angels, was too busy partying after his new name "Make America, Great Again" put him back on track to the playoffs. With a name like that and a inspiring win after the President-Elect, Donald Trump, was announced to be the 45th President of the United States of America we all know this staff member was on the partying side of the spectrum and not the grieving one which cause him to miss our weekly recap meeting to discuss the week 9 blog post. However, it is for you to decide whether his partying was because he won week 10, the results of 2016 election or both… Based on my lead staff being unavailable, I needed to rely on my 2nd in command celebrity writer… who it appears has given up on his fantasy team week 9 to pursue his study of sorcery in a distant land it appears he has lost his touch with the "other side". With him gallivanting around outskirts of London, searching for the source of the historic fairy tales that are not "tales" to sum. His only hope is to gather enough power to go undefeated the last 3 games and somehow sneak into the playoffs or at worst avoid the worst record of the year. He is searching for those who have forsaken him and hopefully turn his fortunes around. Once again, he was too busy to grieve the results from last week but never the less was not able to write the week 9 blog. As such, the week 9 recap was left in the hands of the editor and chief who has diligently avoided a double week blog miss all last year. However, the results last week were too much to bare. The Veg Heads, the bottom feeders of the league. How far can I fall if both 90* putters and Veg Heads beat the Troll Hunters. Many trolls have accepted their fate as I wallow in disbelief at how fall I have fallen. After the first few weeks of the year, I was surely meant for greatness and a repeat year at making the playoffs. All things were in place until I lost a few key "states" or pieces to my landslide campaign. Players who should've been locks going into the year have since fader or simply switched sides. Brandon Marhsall and Todd Gurely were pivotal spot as my number 1 WR and RB who have since given up on me. After week 3, I was blind to see what was really happening. Marhsall would have troubles with his QB, LA Rams would have O-line and Offense problems, and my high scoring wildcards (Ie. Marvin Jones), would come crashing back down to earth. Everyone was blind to the fact that this team was crumbling and no amount of acquisitions or trades would get him back to where he ought to be or deserves to be. So whoever comes out on top at the end of the year, I ask everyone who is dissatisfied with this result to join me in my protest of "NOT MY CHAMPION". They may have legally won, and had more points then their opponent that given week, but you no what, I don't like that I didn't win so #NotMyChampion. Mullynation might say that she deserve to win because she has the most points for (as usual) and it's not fair the rules say you have to win the playoff tournament. River Gypsies might (okay probably will) complain to the commissioner why he didn't stop the thievery of Murray and Crabtree for a flex (at best) DeAndre Hopkins. Veg Heads might complain about losing the in semis of the playoffs because his benched players outscored his starters. Why shouldn't we be able to swap out our bench players for starter once we locked them in. That is so unfair because my entire team is better then theirs and I deserve to win. I know I can count on Veg Heads to stand up and shout, "Not My Champion". What does the commissioner even doing, if not looking out for the his team's interests. This thievery will have River Gypsies chanting "Not My Champion" during the inauguration of the champion-elect. Then there are the multitude of teams plagued by injuries: 90* Putters (Adrian Peterson, Eric Decker, Carlos Hyde) and Troll Hunters (CJ Anderson and Eddy Lacy) to simply name a few. Why isn't their rules in place for the commissioner to compensate these teams with waiver wire priority to promote equality throughout our fickle Red Zone League. These injuries are so unfair and the top teams should compensate these teams because of their misfortune. So I ask you all, in weeks to come, if you think the system has wronged you in any way, join with me and chant "Not My Champion" and we can make a change by simply ignoring the fact that we lost and their will be another chance next year. Oh I forgot to mention, I don't know if everyone was aware but the 45th presidential election was last week and had nothing to do with my rant above that was purely a coincidence. However, since we are on the topic I wanted to twist in the election results a little based on who I believe voted for whom based on their team name. I was originally hoping that all upset teams (or at least one) would win by a landslide by that was unfortunately not the case. Clinton Supporters: NorthSide Angels - Angels from the northeast (similar to NE of our country) Can't get more Dem then that Twin City Tree Cats - if you are in the twin cities, you are voting Dems all day, every day Indian Outlaws - even though you are outlaws only makes you more of a minority… Dems all the way Trump Supporters: 90* Putters - the "working" man spends more time on the course then at work. Gotta b Rep Big City Hillbillies - might be city folk but these Hillbillies are still 100% southern. Reppin hard core 302 Cadets (lineage) - Military all the way - Reps for Days Veg-Heads - Sailors/Military (see above) Undecided: Mullynation - Is a single nation (hard to say either group is with so much division in the USA) - N/A River Gypsies - gypsies tried to vote Green Party but were a week late to the polls (expected reasons cause by voting green) - N/A Troll Hunters - Mountain nomads who didn't even know they could vote… - N/A Week 10 RecapSo we all know who is actually good (DeMarco Murray and Tyrell Williams) and who is bad (DeAndre Hopkins and Gurley). So we don’t need to breakdown every detail of every match. As such, I will do a quick sentence or two on any unexpected players or good/bad plays for this weeks recap. I will also try and pick a "Swing State" or a heavy Dem or Rep state "player" who always plays well or favors a side even in the most uncertain elections. Twin City Tree Cats (115) over Troll Hunters (104) Twin cities had some solid blue performance from his top performers Melvin Gordon (Minnesota) and AJ Green (Illinois). Both of these performed as expected which earned TC2 the win. In this case, TC2 won a fictitious "swing" state in CJ Prosise which earned him the win. Unsure how this "election" would have looked through if Troll Hunters didn't trade with IOS. Three of his top 4 players (only excluding Bal DST) were obtained via trade that week. However, these purchased players were not enough to give hope to the struggling TH team. There was a little hope going into Monday but were quickly shattered the first Bengal drive when Eifert and Green got the necessary 15 pts needed for the W in week 10. Outside of the players TH obtained from IOS, nothing worth to note and these players are still underperforming. Veg-Heads (153) over Mullynation (108) This was actually a more typically, Trump over hillary type "election" battle field. Mullynation the typical power house over the Veg Heads who are gaining steam. However, Mullynation had two top states not participating in the election this week (Luck and McCoy), it wasn't really a one sided fight but rather fairly even or weighted to Veg-Heads actually. As a undecided supported, she took the week off against a campaigning team looking towards the playoffs. Every state, including the key swing states on his bench, were all drinking the Veg Heads Kool-Aid. Veg-Heads had key Red States go Redder with Blounts (Montana) 25 pts game and Cams (Carolina) 24 pts game. He didn't stop their, key swing state victory in Wisc from Adams and a solid 19 pts. Overall, this was a landslide ready to happen with plenty of points left on the bench for Snead and Allen Robinson. With the Booker/Evans/Charles for Blount/Howard/Robinson trade favoring Veg-Heads greatly this week especially. Make America Great Again (142) over Suzy's Pancakes (86) MAGA really did make NSA great again. Even though I have him as a Demarcate and Clinton support above, it looks like he can't be too disappointed with the results helping him win by 50 points. However, we'll have him stick to being blue for now and with key a key performance from his always blue/al ways reliable David Johnson (Cali swag). He also had a solid turnout from Jordy but this was little to no contest. This is what the Trump/Clinton election was suppose to turn out… but that was apparently not the case. Since Trump did win, I couldn't really say that any of your team's performance can relate. I guess Antonio Brown is Texas but you will need more then your go to state and plenty of swing states if you want to keep your spot in the playoffs alive. There are plenty of teams itching to crawl out of the bottom 4, into the big leagues. Indian Outlaws (158) over Big City Hillbillies (137) Another big win for the Clinton supporter but both had more solid wins then loses to each put up 130+ pts. Hillbillies had his own Texas size performance with 27 pts from Murray. He also got the swing state of Florida with Diggs who has been performing poor lately. But that could not match the Washington DC turnout that is Zek the Freak Elliot with 40 pts and the Bell (NY) pulling together 28 pts of his own. The biggest miss was losing Ohio with only 9 pts from Brady. However, this was not needed an would've only be a extra icing on the cake. Overall, the best battle so far, with all the ups and down only ending with a mediocre performance from Giovani Monday night. If he went off like he has before, that would've been the craziest game of the year. Alas, it was another IOS statement, showing off is double barrel shotgun which is Zek and Bell. River Gypsies (114) over 90* Putters (103) Another not very political battle but still came down to the wire. We have seen Jeremy Hill get 25+ pts and it wasn't out of the question for 90* to use some boasting magic to win. However, due to the international travel, his magic was only partial helpful providing Hill with just 10 points, 11 short of victory. Baldwin with the shining star here but Barnidge (Typically Browns) is bring the 90* putters back to earth with only 1 pt. Solid performance (even though is a undecided supporter) from Fitz and Dez. However, the green party had a devastating blow with one of their expected top WRs (Not this year though) was caught contraband in his system and Alshon will be riding the pine into the playoffs or more likely the consolation bracket. Power Rankings1. Indian Outlaws (7-3) – Zek and Bell (Nuff said)
2. NorthSide Angels (6-4) DJ and top 10 WR 1-2 3. MullyNation (6-4) Top starters but worried about Ingram… 4. Twin City Tree Catz (7-3) Gordon on a bye, moves TC2 down a spot or two 5. Vicious Veg-Heads (5-5) Solid WRs, unsure about his RB2 actually a staying a RB2 6. Station 109.1 (5-5) Overall, solid squad but need to put up 120+ pts to move up 7. River Gypsies (4-6) Freeman on a bye and Alshon SSPD… but still has 3 solid WRs 8. Troll Hunters (4-6) Recently gained a RB2 but WR have since cooled off… 9. Big City Hillbillies (3-7) Julio and Thomas are on a bye, tough week ahead 10. 90* Putters (3-7) has fallen out of favor with his magic, he’s in rough shape
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By: Hayden HansonMr. Hayden Hanson (Editor in Chief) is an Accountant-extraordinaire, as well as an aspiring writer. He has written several moderately-successful self-help books, the most famous of which is "What Do You Mean You Can Smell My BO?" Gustav Travers of the New York Times praised the book as "A vulnerable, courageous look into the mind of a man who has literally no sense that other people exist. And also no sense of smell. Nope, he definitely doesn't have that either. Just musk, like a hog that's gotten into the cabbage." Archives
September 2019
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