It was a busy week at work this week so i wasn't able to be too creative this time. I'll find some new interns to boast the creativity in the coming weeks but I also have some ideas cooking up too for later in the year. But for now, let's just jump right into it. Weekly RecapBig City Hillbillies 145 over River Gypsies 107 This is the game that we all wanted to talk about… RGs had a legit chance of knocking down the Matt Ryan and JULIO!! You take back that trade: BCH - Backs out diggs and starts Hopkins and Yeldon puts him at around 128.7. If RGs moves Larry Fitz to WR2 and Murray to Flex (I'm pretty sure he loses by a point). He plays Steve Smith and wins, hands down. Honestly, this was the major F*** up trade this week. We had Veg Heads lose out week 3 based on their Trade and we have a potential win for RGs this week if he played his cards right. So who will be the biggest loser next week, is it going to be 90* but probably not with his magic. If I was a betting man, I would say TCTC with his Le'Veon trade for Gordon and Michaels. He also broke the Mullynation curse last week with his most recent comments about the curse being lifted… so I will be betting on Mullynation this next week hands down. Teaser: we are going bold predictions this week in the match-ups but because of this reason TCTC doesn't earn himself a bold pick. Enough about other stuff, this get back to this match-up. Julio and Matt Ryan killed it… and BCH stole the win right off his finger. So I am actually bored with this match-up so let's talk about the trade. 9 times out of 10 I probably would've traded Julio instead of Hopkins… I mean these next 2 match-ups along with week 4 (including around the playoffs) are tough. But Julio sure proved me wrong. Great play on your part, great play. I don't doubt Hopkins will pick up his output in the middle of this year, but it sure won't be next week against MN!! I am getting more nervous about this RB situation for RG, but with Tevin Colemon possibly unable to play in Denver due to the altitude, you should have two strong RBs this week (except you are challenged by 2 even stronger ones.). We'll keep track of this trade in coming weeks so don't you worry!! We'll constantly remind you that being the CHAMP (in 2015) doesn't mean anything and you could go 1-4 after 1/3 the season… But please, prove us wrong!! Or you know what… don't because it's more fun heckling the 2015 champion being near the bottom and is better for our ratings!! 90* Putters (100) over Troll Hunters 96 The worst part about losing to my Brother (90* Putters for those readers not familiar with our league) is not that fact that he beat me without starting a RB2 but that fact that he didn't man up to his own brother and play fair and square. Once again, you see 90* Putters resort to his dirty tricks causing me to put up my lowest score of the year and taunting me by only beating me by 3ish points. As my Rival and my brother, I expected better from you… You surely have mastered your skill earning you the lowest Points Against at around 370 or 20+ points from NSA who is also being given a free ride at around 390 points against. Needless to say this is the story book again this week. Overall, TH didn't have a horrible week but it's the same old story with poor QB and DST pick-ups that would've won the game. This combined to 12 points against 90* 26 from Bortles (first time TH has had a better DST then his opponent). Marvin Jones settled down after a 3 great starts, but overall it his top 4 RB/WR were double digits (rounding up) which is never a bad situation to be in. Strong performances from Bortles, Hyde, and Sanders provided a win but it was more of a game that TH had to lose. After 90* added sorcery to his RB2 spot this week we all knew it was over for TH. Best of luck NSA next week, may your holy angels cleanse the heart of your enemy to stop with his dirty tricks. Sorry for the short notice though, the curse might already be placed on David Johnson tonight. You better run to the SF and give DJ a water bottle with Holy Water, if not better luck next week because this is a fight you won't be able to win. Indian Outlaws (112) over Suzy’s Pancakes 109 Indian outlaws might look at this match-up and say “if only I had started Big Ben I would’ve smoke Suzy’s Pancakes” But my challenge to that is really? After he got 5 points the previous week and you picked up Stafford who has been pretty much on fire… doubt that. There is no question going forward you will not start Big Ben (unless there is an injury or what not). However, week 4, nah there is no chance. As well as no why you would’ve started Dorsett over Beckham, Cooks, or Christine… so you earned your 112 and it was top 5. BUUUUUUUUUT once again Suzy’s Pancakes lost this match up. Suzy’s P, did you really start a DST against the vikes??? I understand that our offense is okay but our defense is unstoppable which will give our offense a lot more chances to move the ball against other teams the Giants would face. All you need was a DST to earn you 3 points… 3 points and you would’ve won this game. You are almost as bad as TH picking DST this week. You could’ve take revenge on the family that Suzy now loathes… Not that they didn’t try, Brown and Olsen were consistent as ever and the injury to Palmer didn’t help. But IOS wide outs gave you a gift? His average RB (all 3) was 20 pts… and you could’ve easily beat him. Maybe next time Suz but I don’t think a chance like this will come back again. IOS did have great output from his RBs and his WRs should produce. Even though you should have lost due to Suzy’s DST choice you will move up in the power rankings and you earned it. I don’t expect this WR core to stay quiet long and Big Ben should be hot most weeks. So you dodge a bullet this week but a win nonetheless. Twin City Tree Cats 122 over Vicious Veg-Heads 85 This game was another one sided match-up with almost nothing going Veg-Heads way. I mean a solid performance from Kyle Rudolph is making himself a top 5 TE. You could also say that his DST did well compared to how most other teams DST performed. Other than that it was well below par… and not par in a good way. Forte hasn’t been able to reproduce his week 1-2 numbers and Hill couldn’t reproduce his week 3 numbers. Not too surprising but still it would be a little tough to be hopeful when you are trying to build your team back up and your supposed cornerstone is still injured. Cam did okay but did get a concussion which could definitely have a lasting impact if he is out a few weeks. Like I said, nothing was/is going well for the Veg-Heads right now. On the other hand, TC2 had almost everything go right. First week with Le’Veon and he shows up big along with a strong performance from his WRs. Poor performance from Gostkowski which was kinda a non-factor. One real concern is Latavius Murray who continues to be losing touches week by week. So the one big upside with his trade with IOS is that he should have gained another starting RB with Christine Michaels… but was it worth the RB1 overall. Only if Michaels remains a RB1 and Rawls doesn’t come back strong. If so, you just down graded your RB for nothing to a offense that is not very good. This is another situation that we will have to wait and see. For now it looks good on paper for TC2 as he gained two starting RBs for one. No complaints from me if that is the case. Overall, another one-sided match this week. The Mullynation (116) over Northside Angels (114) NSA, you were so close to continuing the curse of Mullynation… so so close. If KC would’ve just pounded it in with Ware on their last attempt you would be holding the BELT and be sitting pretty at 3-1… but nah, KC was like we want to give TH hope he can survive his brother magic. Overall, this game wasn’t won by Mullynation or lost by NSA, it was TC2 who broke the curse and unleashed Mullynation on all of us. As usual, she has the most points score in her favor and her only loss was by like 1 point in week 1. She is ready to play and not going to hold back anymore. She is like “What Curse?” My RB depth is now stacked with Jordan Howard and Ingram did work (even if Kuhn, who?, stole all his TDs). She can confidently say that her 116 was a “off week” and she is happy to have a win. Many teams can and have said that but not many teams can back it up like she can. NSA had a tough 1 point from DeSean Jackson but they were playing Cleveland this past week. So I wouldn’t blame myself for that choice one bit. It just wasn't in your cards to steal the BELT away this week. Mullynation has her hand grasped tightly around the BELT and she isn’t planning on letting go anytime soon. I still have plenty of concerns with Luck not getting hurt and Fleener ever seeing a TD again but outside of that she has a pretty solid team (that is producing) compared to the rest of the teams trying to catch up. NSA needs Gronk to come back now that Brady is back in business. NSA really did have a off week too and this was probably the best match-up of the week. It was a good fight that was fated to side with Mully after TC2 released her curse. Not to say it won’t come back but for now these two teams seem to be set up the best for success (at least for this week). Week 5 Power RankingsSince everyone knows each others team (except for all these trades the past three weeks) so enough about discussing each position on each team, we’ll talk about why they increase or decreased to make it less repetitive. 1. The Mullynation: 3-1 (-) Her top players produced along with additional bench support showed they could play. She is 3-1 and has the most points for in the league through the first 4 game. No major injuries or lack of performance overall from her players. Easy pick in my book. 2. NorthSide Angels: 2-1 (+1) Solid performance with his top WR on the bench. Has the 2nd best points for in the league even though he is 2-2. Might have a little problem in RB depth in the future but Ware and Crowell playing well and without Gronk. You deserve to be number 2 this week. You have earned this honor. 3. Indian Outlaws: 2-2 (+2) Moves up in the world even though he has the lowest points for in the league. Like I said you are lucky to be 2-2 right now because it could be a lot worse and 0-4 pretty easily. However, solid trade for Le’Veon with the only concern being a consistent flex play? Also what if one of your WR never begin to produce? You have to wait for Rawls, Martin, and now Dwayne Washington. You are a top 3 team even with the lowest point in the first 4 weeks. Let’s see how long you can stay in the top tier. 4. Big City Hillbillies: 1-3 (+6) Hillbillies drastically moves up the rankings with a huge week 4 performance and finally a RB1 he can rely on. There are always injury concerns with Murray but for now his WR will attempt keep this team afloat. This might have been a little bullish but I feel like these WR will produce even if Julio is hanging out in Den and Sea the next two weeks. I think BCH has finally turned a corner but he’s on thin ice. He can easily pull a 180 back down this list. 5. Troll Hunters: 2-2 (-3) No consistency from his top guys, he has a full time with tons of talent but if his team can’t produce, then he doesn’t deserve to be a top tier team. Brady will help with the QB situation but without CJ or Gurly putting up 15 it’s a struggle to win each week. 6. River Gypsies: 1-3 (-2) Still nervous about these RBs (Miller really breaking out and Freeman with these match-ups). As well as Alshon being Alshon and Hopkins playing the shut down DST MIN!! Tough loss with Murray and crabtree but we’ll see if Hopkins can turn things around. 7. Suzy’s Pancakes 2-2 (-) Still really nervous about this RB. Gore is a RB2 but not a true RB1 and Riddick has been serviceable but unsure if he’ll lose out a lot with Dwayne taking over the running game in a week or two. He has performed admirably for the time being but he can only hope for another game like week 1. Brown and Olsen are the only things keep this squad from the bottom tier (as for now) 8. 90* Putters: 3-1 (-) Hyde is actually doing more then just his week 1 performance in 2015. With 3 RBs that actually have starting roles (even though they are on pretty bad offenses) at least they are wholly owning their position. If 90* can put up 125 points will move you up to at least 7th next week. I promise. 9. Twin City Tree Cats: 3-1 (-3) You beat Mullynation this week and you will move to a top 4 spot as 4-1. Gordon will be good but I don’t see him as 100 insta 15+ points every week. That is what you are missing with Bell. He is basically a full RB1 and Flex by himself. With Michael on a bye you stay near the bottom even at 3-1. 90* does have two (and a third) starting (not committee) RBs this week which is why he is number 8. Also, his 100 pts last week is really what it seems because of not starting a RB2. Wish I could move you up this week but you earned this when you broke the mully curse. However, I’m really cheering for you to re-establish the Mullynation curse and help the league out with this. If you can we will reward you 10 fold. 10. Vicious Veg-Heads: 1-3 (-1) Honestly, your team is better than 1-3 if Newton gets healthy and Jamaal turns back into the RB he use to be. He could be in the middle of the pack, but he will have to rely on Jeremy Hill and hope for goal line touches and scores to make up for lost points that Gio always takes. Hopefully, your players can turn things around for you. Week 5 BOLD PredictionsTroll Hunters over Big City Hillbillies (Cooper will outscore Crabtree – all you haters saying Crabtree is better now even has the ESPN analysts thinking so. He’ll change their minds this week don’t you worry.
River Gypsies over Indian Outlaws (Hopkins will outscore Beckham – Beckham is playing GB but Hopkins is playing Min. Hopkins time to shine, just a little though since they are playing the home town team the Vikes) 90* Putters over Northside Angels (Dalton “Red Rifle” over Carr – NSA will get “Boned by the Red Rifle” Quote from Mathew Berry – ESPN. Okay maybe not BOLD enough, so how about Fuller over Jordy? That bold enough for you, 90* has magic on his side, nothing is impossible for him. Vicious Veg-Heads over Suzy’s Pancakes (Going really BOLD and say Evans over Brown – brown isn’t unstoppable every week… and this will be his poor week) Mullynation over Twin City Tree Cats (Howard over Gordon – wait Mullynation isn’t a underdog…? Actually, we aren’t sure she has broken the curse so to go against her would be the easy choice. Going long and saying Howard outscore Gordon, now that’s bold for you.
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By: Hayden HansonMr. Hayden Hanson (Editor in Chief) is an Accountant-extraordinaire, as well as an aspiring writer. He has written several moderately-successful self-help books, the most famous of which is "What Do You Mean You Can Smell My BO?" Gustav Travers of the New York Times praised the book as "A vulnerable, courageous look into the mind of a man who has literally no sense that other people exist. And also no sense of smell. Nope, he definitely doesn't have that either. Just musk, like a hog that's gotten into the cabbage." Archives
September 2019
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