BEST MOVE OF THE WEEK This week the mullynation broke our high-score record for this season with a staggering 165.2 points. A large part of that was due to a herculean performance by the Rams DST, who earned 37 points. How does a defense earn 37 points you ask? I'll tell you. Earn six sacks. Grab three interceptions. Force two fumbles. Score one touchdown. Allow ZERO points. There you have it! That's how a defense scores 37 points. How does this relate to the mullynation? Well she picked up the Rams DST on waivers this past week and played them against the Raiders. Not a particularly taxing decision, given the Raiders, but she was the only one to do it. So for that reason, she gets the award. WORST MOVE OF THE WEEK This is kind of a weak Worst Move of the Week, I'll freely admit. These last couple weeks have been tough because there's not really a ton at stake in most of the match-ups (excluding seeding), so there haven't been too many super costly errors. There was, however, one particularly stirring match-up this week. That belonged to MPM and 38V, who were duking it out to avoid the ignominious title of worst team in Just Win, Maybe. Funnily enough, both teams were 3-9 and they just so happened to play in Week 17. It's like this was from a movie. 38V won the first round, but given the same record, it truly came down to this week. Our Worst Move of the Week is the move that cost MPM the privilege of naming his team next year: choosing to bench Ryan Mathews for Chris Ivory. Sure, Mathews was playing the stout Baltimore defense, but Ivory was also playing the stout Miami defense. That's pretty much a wash. And when you think about it, Chris Ivory simply isn't the caliber of player that a healthy Ryan Mathews is. Ivory is a nice FLEX play most weeks, but Mathews is an RB2 with easy RB1 upside. Choosing Ivory (6.2) over Mathews (10.2) cost MPM dearly as he lost by just 1.2 points. Enjoy your new name next year Alex! Power Rankings: #1 the mullynation (10-3) +1 What a turnaround. After giving me hell for two weeks for being relegated to the #2 spot, the mullynation backed up her case for #1 with an astonishing 165.2 point explosion. This is the highest score any team has reached all year, and it put an exclamation point on an incredible regular season run. Now it's time for the playoffs though, and every week can send you home. Well not this week, I guess, as the mullynation has earned the luxury of a bye week. Frankly, this week was already a bye week of sorts, as she already had the #1 seed locked up even with an SI or TDfW win. No matter. Mark Ingram rebounded from his dreadful game last week against Baltimore, running for a healthy 122 yards against the 13th-best RB defense. Murray (17.3) was, as usual, a stud. TY Hilton (14.5) and Calvin Johnson (26.6) both came up big with TDs, and Andrew Luck (32.8) looked more like the Luck we saw for the first 11 weeks of the season. Interestingly, Jimmy Graham was not targeted a single time. Not once. He finished the game completely healthy, yet without a target. The Steelers tactic certainly removed him from the game, but I don't know that it will be copied very often because their constant double and triple teams on Graham left other receivers open for five TDs, resulting in the Steelers losing. Who would have thought that the Saints would score their highest total of the year without Graham earning a target? I think this, like Ingram last week, is an anomaly. This is Jimmy Graham. He'll be fine. Also, the Rams defense did okay I guess. 37 points isn't that much, right? Even with an average (8-10) defensive performance though, the mullynation would still crack 130 easily. This was a week that showed what the mullynation can do, and it can do a whole lot. #2 Turn Down for Watt (9-4) -1 I was just getting comfortable at the #1 spot! Despite moving down a spot, TDfW performed very well in Week Thirteen, capping off an excellent four-game winning streak to close the season. Four games ago, after being defeated by SI to fall two games (plus tiebreaker) behind, the season was a bit shaky. That's a distant memory as TDfW has surged in its last four games, coming even with SI record-wise but being unable to get past that pesky tiebreaker. SI did a good job taking care of business in Week Thirteen, but I'm glad I didn't miss out on the #2 seed because of a TDfW loss. That would have been more disappointing. This past week highlighted the all-around talent on TDfW. It's not often you break 125 points with only one 20+ point scorer (much in contrast to the mullynation this week). No one turned in a performance for the ages, but everyone quietly handled their business. McCoy (19.9), Charles (11.9), Lacy (11.5), Jordy (11.3), and Gronk (9.8) all had solid games. Dez Bryant was really the only lackluster performer, but he still earned a mediocre 7.3 points. The end of the lineup was particularly strong this week, though I don't like relying on that. It's tough to not rely on JJ Watt however, as he CAUGHT his third TD of the year (to go with 2 defensive TDs), earning 13.1 points. Amazingly, this is his fifth 12+ point game, and second of his last three. That's a positional advantage (like Gronk) every single week. Now that the Seahawks are healthy again, they're playing more like the defense that people expected them to be. They've allowed a total of 6 points combined in their last two games (Ari and @SF). TDfW is still going to be using a defensive rotation because the Seahawks have been quite inconsistent this year, but if the Hawks have now sorted their defensive woes out, that bodes ill for the other playoff teams. #3 Staff Infection (9-4) --- SI had a fantastic send-off to the regular season. After scoring 93, 102, and 96 points in their three previous matches, SI looked like the team it used to be with a nice 125 point outing. In a must-win week, SI got it done. The team namesake, Matthew Stafford, scored his highest total (21.9) since Week Four. Le'Veon Bell followed up his 28.2 point Week Twelve with a 31.4 point Week Thirteen. Right there, that's a good start. Gio is still clearly banged up, with eight fewer touches than last week and just 5.6 points. That's still a concern, but with Bell scoring like he is, the RB position is still good. Demaryius outscored Emmanuel Sanders for the second straight week, and his 12.3 points is a solid total. Jeremy Maclin is still waiting to have a monster game since losing Nick Foles, though his 10.8 this week was good production. Jason Witten is a total loss at the TE position, but there are few teams with a solid, productive TE. That's not the worst thing in the world. The starters came to play this week, and they absolutely got the job done. There's very little to criticize here, but if I had to, it would be the bench depth in the case of an injury. SI is trying to re-establish itself as a championship-caliber team along with the mullynation and TDfW (and maybe 302), and the depth is a bit light. If TDfW loses a starter, OBD takes his spot. For the mullynation, she's got Kelvin Benjamin ready to step in. For 302, Jonathan Stewart is starting to gain some traction (two 11+ point weeks out of the last three). Those are three legit FLEX-or-better players, just waiting on the bench in case things don't go as planned. When you look at SI's bench, it's basically bereft of starter-quality players. There's not one I'd want starting. VJax and Gore are underperforming headaches. White and Murray are injured. Then there's the curious collection of backups: Joseph Randle, Knile Davis, and Pierre Thomas. Gio may not be starter-quality anymore, and SI could end up needing someone to take his spot. The trade of DeAndre Hopkins for Frank Gore is looking pretty rough in hindsight. None of this matters this week though, as SI can rest on his laurels and enjoy the bye week that comes with locking up the #2 spot. Congrats. #4 302 Cadets (7-6) --- After falling flat with 77.3 points in Week Eleven, 302 has now responded with 117.5 and 127.6 point games in Weeks Twelve and Thirteen, respectively. 302 must have championship aspirations with their current lineup performing the way it is. Drew Brees scored 28.3 last week and followed that up with 30.3 this week. 30 points from the QB spot is such a nice luxury to have, and it offers a cushion for other positions. In this case, Jeremy Hill. The Bengals simply didn't play well against Tampa Bay, who does have a tough defense. The Bengals only mustered 14 points, so their skill position players suffered. The good news for Hill is that he continues to out-touch Gio Bernard. Hill got 18 touches to Gio's 11, though neither did much of anything against the Buccaneers. Hill started the game over Gio, and it appeared that Gio was brought on the field as more of a change-of-pace back than a bell-cow. Hill is the guy. Rashad Jennings had a stellar day (21.4), well until he got injured, that is. Apparently he injured an ankle and left the game, though preliminary reports from New York say it isn't a huge concern. Antonio Brown (23.7) also had a fantastic fantasy game, benefiting greatly from 2 garbage time TDs. One came with 2:34 left in the game, and the other as time expired. That's 12.7 points pretty quick. The Eagles DST is, like JJ Watt, a weapon at a position where there are almost no consistent weapons. I've accepted that fact. The Eagles DST is scoring like mad, and with another 19 point outing, they're one of the most consistent scorers on 302. Cody Parkey is much the same. Everyone else starting on 302 had a lackluster week: Andrew Hawkins (2.4), Brandon Marshall (4.2), and Travis Kelce (3.6). #5 Forgot About Tre (4-9) +3 FAT (hehehe) turned in its second best performance of this season, earning 116.3 points. That's the highest total for FAT since Week Five when FAT beat the mullynation 116.9 to 111.4. It's funny that FAT's top two weeks came against our #1 team, but this time around, he wasn't as fortunate. No one all year would have beaten the mullynation this week, and FAT was our proverbial lamb at the slaughter. FAT was boosted nicely this week by dynamic performances from Tre Mason (34.4!) and Julio Jones (24.9). Is Julio officially back in business? It may be too early to tell, but after scoring 13.1 last week (with a TD) and 25 this week, Julio is certainly nearing the value that he was drafted to have. It was painful to watch DeAndre Hopkins (35.8!) and Keenan Allen (24.4) sit on the bench, but at least we know the talent that FAT possesses. If you do the math, that means that FAT could have started a WR corps that earned a ridiculous 85.1 points. Holy crap. I'm not going to check, but I'm guessing that would be the best potential WR-or-RB corps at any week this season. Sure Romo (3.9) and Forte (5.8) had uncharacteristically bad games, but that's just exactly it. It was uncharacteristic. Both are usually reliable fantasy commodities, and I expect them to bounce back for the consolation tournament. I don't think it's a stretch to say that FAT is likely the favorite to win the jersey, the way things are looking. Two closing weeks at 115+ will do that. #6 Merman pop, Mer-Man (3-10) -1 Man, this week's loss is kind of tough to handle. MPM had pretty uniformly solid production excluding the RB position, which is often the position that matters most. Brady (17.7), Jeffery (19.1), Green (12), and Bennett (10.9) were all very productive, and the Dolphins DST (10) and Caleb Sturgis (11) put MPM in the position to maybe crack 120. Alas, it wasn't to be. Alfred Morris had a mediocre 8.3 point outing, though it really wasn't his fault with Indianapolis surging to the lead right off the bat. Along with Morris, Chris Ivory turned in a pedestrian 6.2 point showing against the Dolphins DST, which is really not super surprising. The Dolphins have been incredibly stingy against RBs, and Monday Night Football proved to show just that. This team, just like last week, had a pretty decent showing while losing. Hopefully MPM can get some better RB production from Mathews, AlfMo, and Ivory going forward. If so, they'll be a tough team to beat in the consolation bracket. I'm just going to mention a tough little detail regarding the Miami DST on Monday Night Football. They actually got their hands on a Jets punt, but since the punt still traveled past the line of scrimmage, it's counted as a tipped punt rather than a blocked punt. Tipped punts are not tracked in ESPN scoring, so they are not worth any points. Blocked punts however, are indeed worth points. Thus, this loss came down to the punted ball traveling past the line. If it does, MPM loses, as we saw. If it doesn't cross the line, MPM gains some additional points and gets a win. It's a game of inches. #7 I'm Just Gonna Shake It Off (5-8): -1 T-Swift goes as Peyton goes (like PMotr with Lynch), and this week, Peyton had his worst fantasy game of the season. He passed for only 176 yards, 2 TDs, and one turnover, earning just 12.6 points. That's okay because his RB, CJ Anderson, is also owned by T-Swift. Anderson topped his career-best rushing outing in Week Twelve with another career-best rushing outing in Week Thirteen. Anderson has now scored 50 points in two games, and he has to be considered a major weapon on T-Swift. Pairing him with LeGarrette Blount worked last week, but Blount only mustered up 5.8 points this week. Randall Cobb had a decent 9.3, but we know he can do better than that. Boldin (1.8) and Terrance Williams (4.1) also disappointed. Coby Fleener though... In a horrible year for TE talent, T-Swift goes and grabs Fleener off the waiver wire and he puts up 24.7 points. This was basically the only thing that prevented T-Swift from a 50+ point loss against TDfW. On another, more fortunate, note, Doug Martin is alive! After getting twelve touches last week, he got nineteen this week, earning 12.1 points. Amazingly, that's his highest total of the season. Other than when he scored 11.6 points in Week Four, Martin has not broken 7.6 points all season, averaging 1.9 points per game over that stretch. But, he might be back. And it would be just in time for the consolation tournament! How considerate of Doug. I'm sure T-Swift is pleased with another RB option. #8 Gin Makes Me Bum Pucker (7-6) -1 After last week's miracle Monday Night Football victory, GMMBP fell back down to earth. Without another episode of Justin Forsett's divine intervention, this team could only put together a 77.5 point campaign. Sure, there was really nothing to play for this week; the playoff spot was sealed with last week's win. But it just feels good to head to the playoffs on the back of a nice performance from your team, and GMMBP couldn't quite get it together against 302. Hilariously, they lost by 50.1 points (thanks to the Cardinals DST scoring -1), so GMMBP is in for yet another name change courtesy of Derek. We can't forget that it was Derek who coined the name GMMBP as punishment for Week Four's 76 point drubbing. We also can't forget that GMMBP then went on a five-game winning streak, dicing his way through the schedule until eventually losing to his brother. Is another winning streak in order? It's not possible to win five more games in a row (this year at least), but three would be grand, huh Chris? As for the players, Rodgers (22.9) was Rodgers, Forsett (12.3) was solid, and DJax (14.4) surprisingly led all non-QBs in points. Gates also had a nice 8.3 point game. Emmanuel Sanders (7.3) had his second-worst game of the year. That was a bit of a shock. It was his first single-digit game since Week SIx, which was his worst outing of the season (3.8). The loss of Julius Thomas in that Denver offense is very interesting. Reggie Wayne was similarly unproductive, but he's just unreliable. DST is rarely worth mentioning, and in this case, playing the Cardinals against Atlanta seems like a smart move to me. The negative 1 point is tough to handle though, given the 50.1 point loss. We've had so many 49 point losses this year, and this should have been one of them. #9 38% Chance of Victory (4-9) +1 He's done it! Mike took over 38V and earned a regular season victory before season's end. 38V has got to feel excellent about avoiding last place and keeping his naming rights for next year. This has been a tough team to turn around, but I think Mike has done an admirable job. Still though, I can't justify a huge jump up the power rankings based on one week. Mike, I hope you understand, and I'm guessing that the new W in your record is enough to soothe what ails you. 38V earned a win this week on the back of three players: Arian Foster (16.5), Kendall Wright (19.9), and Torrey Smith (18.5). Those three, along with contributions from Teddy Bridgewater (12.7) and the Lions DST (12) proved enough to push 38V past MPM ever so slightly. There's still work to be done if 38V wants to avoid losing the consolation tournament, but at least they've got one W to their name. Isaiah Crowell turned in his worst performance in the last four weeks (4.4), Charles Johnson got nice looks but couldn't get in the endzone (4.1), and Delanie Walker couldn't remotely match his 15.5 points from last week (0.6). Those are the downsides, but the positives were sufficient to get 38V into the triple digits for the first time since Mike took over. Interestingly, a nice game from the DP, Bradly Fletcher (6.3), may have been the real difference maker in this match-up. 6.3 is a pretty nice day from a DP, and 38V certainly enjoyed that narrow 1.2 margin of victory. #10 Poppin Mollies on the reg (7-6) -1 It may be time to hit the panic button. PMotr followed up 71.6 and 79.1 point games with a 58.1 point stinker. For the third week in a row, the only strong performance was from the Bills DST, who earned 21 points against Cleveland. Lynch scored 11.1 which is a solid total, but not a "strong" outing. Are we ready to look at everyone else though? Parents, you may want to avert your children's eyes. Eli Manning: 9.9 Andre Ellington: 1.2 (And he sustained a hip pointer... Huge bummer.) Denard Robinson: 5.4 Michael Floyd: 3.6 Steve Smith: 0.2 Julius Thomas: 0.0 Stephen Gostkowski: 2 The only good news is that this week didn't mean a whole lot, and the bench actually performed quite well! Joique Bell (22.7), Brandon LaFell (15.8), and Matt Ryan (20.8) offered a bit more than their starting counterparts, but it's the inconsistency that kills this team. Next week, Ryan might lay an egg while Eli rolls. Joique could go back to looking like the RB4-5 he's been all year. LaFell could fall victim to the Belichick game-planning that makes owning most Patriots players so frustrating. It's impossible to know what next week will bring for PMotr, and that uncertainty, combined with three dreadful weeks, is what causes a slide down to our tenth and final spot. Sorry Dan, I don't know how I could justify not doing it. Predictions: I will no longer be making predictions for the playoffs, so this section is going to be removed from now on. Last Week’s Picks: (4-1) Overall final record: (41-24)
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By: Hayden HansonMr. Hayden Hanson (Editor in Chief) is an Accountant-extraordinaire, as well as an aspiring writer. He has written several moderately-successful self-help books, the most famous of which is "What Do You Mean You Can Smell My BO?" Gustav Travers of the New York Times praised the book as "A vulnerable, courageous look into the mind of a man who has literally no sense that other people exist. And also no sense of smell. Nope, he definitely doesn't have that either. Just musk, like a hog that's gotten into the cabbage." Archives
September 2019
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