BEST MOVE OF THE WEEK This week T-Swift pulled off a surprising victory over the #3 team, winning 135.2 to 96.2. This was on the back of a savvy waiver pick-up, LeGarrette Blount. T-Swift needed some RB help and boy did they get it. After picking Blount up, he was placed immediately into the starting lineup, a bold call given the fact that he was newly-signed to the Patriots and hadn't even been able to practice for a week. Still, T-Swift plugged him in, and he responded by scoring 2 TDs on his was to 19.8 points. What a call. WORST MOVE OF THE WEEK I'm going to highlight the team of PMotr for this week's Worst Move of the Week. In PMotr's section I'll provide more details on each individual starter, but the "Worst Move" was the combination of leaving Eli Manning (23.5), Steve Smith (14.9), and Marques Colston (14.2) on the bench for Brian Hoyer, Denard Robinson, and Sammy Watkins. With some mix of those three starting, the game would have shifted towards PMotr's favor. Dan went 0 for 3, and PMotr lost by 20. On top of that, Julius Thomas was ruled OUT prior to the start of the Denver/Miami game, so he got 0 points from his TE. In such an important match-up with a playoff bye on the line, Dan should have grabbed a waiver wire TE to make up some points. Honorable mention: MPM playing the Dolphins DST (-6) against the Broncos. How was that a good idea? Power Rankings: #1 Turn Down for Watt (8-3) --- If posting 120 in the rough Week Eleven wasn't enough of a wake-up call for the rest of the league, perhaps the 137 in Week Twelve will do the trick! TDfW has averaged 129.8 points over the last three weeks, and with that, it has pulled even with SI record-wise. Both sit atop the Jokers division, but with SI holding the tiebreaker, there's another week of work to be done to secure a first round bye. TDfW was blessed with a fantastic Week Twelve outing, posting its highest score of the season thus far. Tannehill (27), McCoy (19), Charles (16), Lacy (26), and Dez (21) all posted nice totals, surprisingly with Jordy (7) and Gronk (8) lagging behind. In this year though, with the dearth of TE talent, 8 points really isn't that bad of a "down" week for Gronk. Despite posting the highest score of the week, TDfW also left the most egregious point values on the bench. The Seahawks DST had their best outing of the year (21) in the first week TDfW swapped them out (of course), and Odell Beckham Jr. earned 26.2 while sitting comfortably on the bench. And in doing so, he had the single most difficult/impressive catch I've ever seen. It may not have been on a huge stage like David Tyree's helmet catch, but this catch was next-to-impossible: Click for ODB's catch in beautiful 60fps That was done with two fingers and a thumb. That's it. I couldn't make that catch with both my hands. ODB may still be a rookie WR, but the future is bright. Next week, TDfW faces the red-hot T-Swift in what should have been the match-up of the week, had GMMBP lost like he was expected to. Can TDfW win and push for the #2 seed? Can T-Swift keep its improbable hot-streak going and upset yet another top-tier team, readying itself for the consolation ladder? Find out next week! #2 the mullynation (9-3) --- While this was the second consecutive subpar week from the mullynation, SI really didn't do enough to vault past her in the rankings, so she remains at #2. She scored 99, he scored 96. These are still the best two non-TDfW teams. This week though, Andrew Luck had his worst game of the season, and interestingly enough, Calvin Johnson followed up his 6.2 total from last week with 5.8 points this week. What's going on with Calvin? The quick start of Josh Gordon (12.7) makes up for that, along with T.Y. Hilton's continuing dominance (17.7), but the question remains. Can the mullynation rely on Calvin in the playoffs? Jimmy Graham is playing like the elite TE he is, but her elite WR needs to shape up. I'm not too concerned about Mark Ingram's poor outing on Monday Night Football, as the Saints were behind the entire game playing against Baltimore's #1 RB-against defense. That's a recipe for disaster for any back not named Demarco Murray or Matt Forte. Ingram has been solid, and will bounce back. She locked up the #1 seed this week with her 20 point victory over PMotr, but this team looked a bit more fearsome four weeks ago. Regardless, the $20 bonus for the regular season winner belongs to the mullynation, though I personally know she is in championship-or-bust mode currently. For her to do so, she's going to need to get some decent production out of Calvin. #3 Staff Infection (8-4) --- The troubles with Gio Bernard continue. In his first game back from injury, he was solidly outperformed by Jeremy Hill both in yards, YPC, and the sole TD. It would appear that the Bengals are gearing up for a firm RBBC, perhaps favoring Hill now. This is a big blow to an RB corps that has gone from easily the best in the league to solidly middle-of-the-road. Frank Gore (1.6) is not a reasonable replacement for Gio's early-season production, but hopefully he won't have to be. Enter Latavius Murray. After being one of the most-hyped waiver RB pickups last week, Murray absolutely delivered the goods. Four carries, 112 yards, 2 TDs. The only issue was a concussion sustained in the game. Well, I guess another issue was that SI left Murray on the bench against T-Swift. It didn't matter ultimately, as SI was beaten soundly by 39 points, but still. SI had the chance to secure a first-round bye, but the loss this week (and win by TDfW) opens the door for the #3 seed. SI is now 8-4, holding the tiebreaker over TDfW. A win this week against PMotr would seal the deal, and PMotr may be coming out swinging after two straight ugly losses. SI is in a bit of a free-fall over the last two weeks, highlighted by Week Eleven's 96 point total despite Demaryius Thomas scoring 3 TDs. Other than Thomas' career day, only one skill position player broke ten points, and that was Stafford's 10.4 points. Gio (6.7), Gore (1.6), White (9.6), and Maclin (6.2) round out SI's big guns, and Lamar Miller (6.7) also had a pedestrian day on the bench. The Dolphins interestingly deferred to Daniel Thomas in numerous important situations, which I think most people did not expect. This obviously limits Miller's upside, something SI really doesn't need right now. We do have to keep in mind that Le'Veon Bell was on bye this week, undoubtedly hurting SI's RB corps. This team could use a win in Week Twelve, and Le'Veon is going to need to help get SI there. #4 302 Cadets (6-6) +2 In the first week since trading away Jamaal Charles, his replacement RBs looked solid. Jeremy Hill earned 15.6, far surpassing Gio, and Rashad Jennings earned 12 points. Compared with Charles' 16.2 points, this was undoubtedly productive. Unfortunately the WR aspect of the trade, Brandon Marshall injured his ankle, limiting his touches in Week Twelve. He finished with just 3.2 points, but it does not look like the ankle will limit him going forward. That's good news at least, but unfortunately that point total helped doom 302 in Week Twelve against TDfW. After Brees earned 28.3 points on Monday Night, 302 still lost by 20, though they posted a very respectable 118 total. With Andrew Hawkins taking over the third receiver role (behind Antonio Brown and Brandon Marshall), this WR corps is suddenly looking solid all around. Pairing those WRs with Hill and Jennings, as well as Brees? This is a good team. Now if only 302 could get consistent production from the TE slot. They've had a merry-go-round of Vernon Davis, Larry Donnell, and Travis Kelce, and it's not working out too well. On another note, can we discuss the Eagles DST? They've now broken 20 points on five occasions (34, 28, 25, 21, and 20), and they also scored 19 in Week One. Pairing that with Cody Parkey's ridiculous 20 points from kicking, the Eagles provided Derek with 40 points this week. It's no wonder he scored 118. That's a hell of a cushion, if you can get it consistently. That bodes well for 302's playoff chances. #5 Merman pop, Mer-Man (3-8) -1 The win was RIGHT THERE. Ugh. Another candidate for Worst Move of the Week was the playing of the Dolphins DST against the offensive juggernaut, the Denver Broncos. That earned MPM a negative 6 for their effort. We'll revisit that later. So Tom Brady had his usual 20 point game. That's a given now. AlfMo had a nice 19 points, and Ryan Mathews scored 17.3 points. That's some nice RB production, and that right there usually spells a victory. The flex had Alshon Jeffery with 8.2, decent numbers. AJ Green and Mike Evans earned 12.1 and 11, respectively. Man, things sound like they're going great for MPM! Everyone is in double digits, and the QB and RBs were around 20. This is good! The TE Martellus Bennett only earned 3.7, but that's honestly not horrible for TEs this year. DP Brent Grimes had 2.7, a fine total. K Caleb Sturgis kind of let the team down with only 4 points, but your K should not be the reason you lose games. This week sounds pretty solid, huh? 98 points right there. Plus you've got the DST left to play! An average DST week of 8-10 points means we're nearing 110, a very respectable total for the week! A great DST week (20) means we're near 120! So what does MPM do? They play the Dolphins. On the road. AT DENVER. Bam, negative six points. MPM drops to 92, and subsequently loses to GMMBP who scored 100.7 points. This was a win that turned into a loss. It's a good thing it was only for pride, as any real stakes lost on this game would be painful. #6 I'm Just Gonna Shake It Off (5-7): +2 The train had kept chuggin along, but the playoff dream died this week. After knocking off the mullynation (then #1) in Week Eleven, T-Swift locked horns with SI (#3) in Week Twelve. T-Swift earned a convincing 39 point victory on the back of CJ Anderson and LeGarrette Blount's surprising production, and now they set their sights on TDfW in Week Thirteen. T-Swift scored the second-most points of the week (narrowly missing first by 2 points) with an impressive total of 135 points.Despite this seemingly-fairytale ending, it wasn't meant to be. GMMBP's 31 point explosion from Justin Forsett on Monday Night Football turned a probable loss into a win, so GMMBP grabbed the last playoff spot for good. It's time to say goodbye. 302 lost this week, but because they defeated T-Swift in their only match-up, I think 302 is safe with the tiebreaker. T-Swift has some work to do in the coming week, with yet another tough match-up, and now it's just pride on the line. If T-Swift has suddenly found solid RB production (like his brother did earlier this season with Forsett and Oliver), T-Swift is suddenly a team to be eyed warily. I personally would bet against Blount posting another 20 point game, but then again I would have bet strongly against it this past week and yet it happened. T-Swift was able to post 135 points with pedestrian days from his WR1 (Cobb, 5.8), WR2 (Randle, 3.6), and TE (Sims, 3.1), so clearly this team has a high scoring ceiling. #7 Gin Makes Me Bum Pucker (7-5) -2 GMMBP had one more miracle in them before the playoffs. The Bum Puckers went into Monday Night Football needing 22.3 points from Justin Forsett just for a tie. I mean Forsett has been great this season, but 22.3 is by no means a gimme. I will admit I expected MPM to win this one. The game started, and it was proven that I am an idiot. Forsett ran at will against the Saints, gashing them for 182 yards on 22 carries (8.3 YPC) and two TDs. A 31 point performance earned GMMBP the unlikely come-from-behind victory, meaning GMMBP has booked his ticket to the playoffs. In doing so, he officially eliminated his brother, T-Swift, from playoff contention. That's got to feel good. Overall in Week Twelve, GMMBP had a mix of great performances and dreadful performances. Desean Jackson (3.9), Reggie Wayne (1), Antonio Gates (1.4), and Robbie Gould (2), are the low-lights, while Justin Forsett (31), Aaron Rodgers (19.8), Emmanuel Sanders (14.8), and the Cardinals DST (13) are the highlights. When I thought he was going to lose by just a couple points, I was ready to give GMMBP the Worst Move of the Week (and perhaps I still should) for starting Wayne over any of the following: Mike Wallace (9.5), Darren Sproles (9.9), Shane Vereen (6), and even Michael Crabtree (5.8). Because he pulled out the victory with Forsett's herculean effort, I decided it didn't matter anyway. But still. It was bad, dude. 1 point? Come on. Not going to make it far in the playoffs with that coming from a starter. #8 Forgetting Brandon Marshall (4-8) +1 FBM drew 38V this week and turned in a 37.6 victory with an impressive 114.9 point (fourth-best this week) total. FBM got excellent production from Tony Romo (24.8), Matt Forte (23.2) and the Colts DST (21), and he also got a TD from Julio Jones! Praise God! That's the first TD from Julio since Week Three, though it appears to have come just a bit too late for FBM's playoff hopes. Keenan Allen, Fred Jackson, and Steven Jackson also turned in nice performances on the bench, and FBM is ready to make a run at the consolation bracket championship. Tre Mason and Jerick McKinnon have quelled any concerns about their lead-back statuses, though it looks like Jonas Gray is heading the other direction. LeGarrette Blount kept Gray from securing a single carry in Week Eleven, and his value is in question. Getting Greg Olsen back (after his bye) will help, as Mychal Rivera (0.8) was less than impressive on Thursday Night Football. FBM took a page out of GMMBP's book and chose not to play of defensive player, and it ended up not mattering. Look for FBM to cut ties with Rivera and grab super-stud Chris Borland back. If he doesn't, I'm sure someone else will take that 5+ point per week bonus. #9 Poppin Mollies on the reg (7-5) -2 PMotr had a dismal week, other than a truly amazing DST performance from the Bills. Last week PMotr's highest achiever was his DST, and this week, it happened again. With 29 points coming from the DST (and 11 from K), you'd think most weeks would be an easy win! Unfortunately that was not the case in Week Twelve, with PMotr losing by 20 to the mullynation. With a win, PMotr could have jumped into the driver's seat regarding a first round bye (passing the mullynation), but the loss kills those hopes. This was a huge match-up for PMotr, but it got away from them. Brian Hoyer: 6.1 Andre Ellington: 6.3 Marshawn Lynch: 8.2 Denard Robinson: 5.2 Sammy Watkins: 3.5 Brandon Lafell: 9.8 Julius Thomas: 0.0 This team scored 79 points, with 40 coming from DST and K. That's a pretty rough week by anyone's standards, and after coming off a 71 point outing in Week Eleven, PMotr's stock is a little low right now. You simply can't count on defenses earning enormous point totals. It's too much of a crapshoot. Instead, you need consistent skill position players, something that PMotr has struggled with all season. After posting 130+ in two consecutive weeks, the tide has apparently turned for PMotr. Still a lock for the playoffs, PMotr just needs to sort out its RB match-ups for the remaining schedule. Playing RBs against ARI and SEA (like in Week Twelve) is just not a good situation. #10 38% Chance of Victory (3-8) --- Oof. I'm going to focus on the positives! 38V has found a legitimate RB2 play in Crowell, and he's a dynamite keeper candidate. Pairing him with the Foster/Blue combination actually solidifies 38V's RB situation pretty darn well, a feat that only took Mike 2 weeks to achieve. Color me impressed. The bad news is that the lineup gods are not being kind to 38V. They're leaving points on the bench that could be counting in the starting lineup, an exceedingly frustrating problem. We've all been there. 38V just can't seem to win at the TE position, and the WR situation isn't a whole lot better. Dropping Delanie Walker to hang onto both Colts TEs was a gamble, and it looks (for now) like it didn't pay off. Greg Jennings, Eric Decker, and Andre Johnson are all around the 40-50th ranked WRs, meaning they sit at WR3-4 status. Kendall Wright has been unreliable with his rookie QB throwing to him, and is ranked down a bit further. With a Week Thirteen match-up against the upstart MPM, 38V might end the regular season on a bit of a down-turn. Still though, the consolation bracket is wide open, and anyone can get a win in the playoffs with one monster game. 38V needs Arian Foster back, sooner rather than later. Predictions (Winners underlined): Turn Down for Watt (8-4, +1325/-1255) @ I'm Just Gonna Shake It Off (5-7, +1122/-1212) 302 Cadets (6-6, +1254/-1194) @ Gin Makes Me Bum Pucker (7-5, +1159/-1143) the mullynation (9-3, +1409/-1212) @ Forgetting Brandon Marshall (4-8, +1180/-1326) Poppin Mollies on the reg (7-5, +1192/-1064) @ Staff Infection (8-4, +1305/-1214) Merman pop, Mer-man (3-9, +1145/-1289) @ 38% Chance of Victory (3-9, +1072/-1253) Last Week’s Picks: (4-1) Overall record: (37-23)
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By: Hayden HansonMr. Hayden Hanson (Editor in Chief) is an Accountant-extraordinaire, as well as an aspiring writer. He has written several moderately-successful self-help books, the most famous of which is "What Do You Mean You Can Smell My BO?" Gustav Travers of the New York Times praised the book as "A vulnerable, courageous look into the mind of a man who has literally no sense that other people exist. And also no sense of smell. Nope, he definitely doesn't have that either. Just musk, like a hog that's gotten into the cabbage." Archives
September 2019
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