Hey Everyone, I’m sure all of us were super excited for (Fantasy) Football and the regular season to begin this past Thursday. For some of us this was rather short lived, probably Mullynation seeing CJ Anderson pull together 28 pts or Vegs Heads benching, that’s right, benching Cam Newton QB#1 with a solid 25 pt performance. However, it goes both ways in the following days when on Sunday, Troll Hunters starts the KC DST having no way to know the extent of the damages done due to the ESPN site being temporary shutdown. I mean come on ESPN, get your shit together. You’re a $50+ billion company whose been doing Fantasy Football for decades not some Pokemon game company (Niantic) who crashes when first released. This better not happen again ESPN… or I’ll stop hunting Trolls and start hunting for a new fantasy football website for the one and only RedZone league. Okay back to football now that I have gotten that off my chest. Actually, one more side note before we go far, like Harold and Kumar too far, within this blog post. Over the past few years as the primary editor of the RedZone Blog, I am sure you would all agree that I have exceeded all of your expectation of the weekly write-ups. However, if that was not the case then, I would challenge you to lower your expectations next time. Based on my glorious reviews (which I only read the good ones), I have been given the honored to inform you all of my recent self-promotion to Editor in Chief of the RedZone league blog. As such, the blog is currently looking for unpaid interns who are interested in pursuing a career in fantasy football, getting people coffee, and basic statistical analysis that really doesn’t mean anything but simply provides a “factual” explanation to justify your (the blogs) rather bias personal power rankings. The last one being the most important because we all know sports announcers, writers, etc. can bring up the most ridiculous stats to justify their claim. Quick Fact: Ben Roethlisberger plays his best games during the week of a full moon because he is a BEAST!! (FYI, River Gypsies better watch out week 2!! Why you ask? Hint Hint: check the night sky tonight and you’ll know what’s coming) That being said, anyone and everyone can participate in the weekly write-ups if interested. I have a few referrals who might help with the next couple of weeks but feel free to reach out to myself (Editor in Chief) or our Commander and Chieftain if you would like a position on blog’s team. ***Disclaimer: Any intern participating in the weekly write-up will get the honor to write whatever they want and will not be edited, in any way, by the Editor in Chief. However, the Editor in Chief may choose to write his own mini blog post to explain why you are only an intern and how wrong your personal opinion actually is (along with sharing the correct opinion).*** Okay enough of the intro, so let’s get started on the Week 1 Recaps where every match was an upset when reviewing the Week 1 power rankings!! Weekly Recap Mullynation (117.3) vs Troll Hunters (117.9) Mullynation might have learned a trick or two over the off-season as she was seen sprinkling some anti-luck over Troll Hunters studs Marshall/Gurley. These top 2 Troll Hunters have defeated plenty of Mountain Trolls in the past but seemed to be caught sleeping on the job week 1. However, the Mullynation curse could not be broken when CJ Anderson was cooking the books with Cooks!! Combined they were half of THs total points on this nail biting win Monday night. Big Bad Ben overcame a few issues of his own and putting up 18 pts even with multiple turnovers. Solid performances from Cooper and Kelce made up for the self-destructive Kansas City DST. There was solid bench scoring from these hunters but with his starting line-up is like a troll in sunlight (solid as stone). Luck was really the only saving grace to Mully’s week. Breezy was down all game which limited Ingram’s production. McCoy was solid as ever and not worth talking about unless he breaks 20 pts or scores less than 10. Her only chance to beat TH was to match Cooks up against teammate Willie Snead. However, with WR like Robinson, Maclin, and Landry you wouldn’t be likely to start Snead week 1 unless you were a prophet. Only move that could’ve should’ve turned Mullynation into the winner was to start Landry over Jennings. I mean, I pretty sure I heard Mullynations top WR targets were Landry and Decker… why didn’t you start him then? Just a little more bad luck for Mullynation who continues to have over performing opponents. Troll Hunters has removed the tumor of a DST and will be ready to go week 2 to against the other heavy weight hanging out in the top tier group. Northside Angels (137) vs. River Gypsies (98) – TITLE FIGHT These River Gypsies we too busy dancing around the fire to notice that the Northside Angels were given a divine blessing to punish these dancing heathens. Nothing good about RGs line up shows a good performance except for the Seattle DST and I guess Moncrief. With “blessings” that NSA received you had no chance of winning with your line-up. I mean you weren’t going to start DeMarco Murray against the Vikes (no chance) and the only bump would be a valid swap with Moncrief and Larry Fitz. However, that wouldn’t have been nearly enough to beat your punisher NSA. Poor performance from Russell, Devonta, Lamar, and Dez caused you to lose. Also Devonta and Dez could help you loss more if Atlanta/Dallas can’t figure things out on offense. Overall, not the top tier performance as bestowed upon you for the week 1 power rankings. NSA did really receive a divine blessing for Spencer Ware and Drew Breezy. If Jamaal Charles did play this would have been some sort of committee RB situation with Jamaal testing out his new legs after last year injury. Brees was also blessed at home with a godly performance of 30+ pts. Even without Gronk these angels can still fight and punish anyone who gets in the way of their crusade for the playoffs. Vicious Veg-Heads (120) vs. Suzy’s Pancakes (148) Vicious Veg-Heads had no chance against Suzy’s soldiers love drunken by her Pancakes and syrup which they devoured pregame. These pancakes and syrup are laced with a poison that grabs the hearts of the strongest men but provides them unhuman strength in battle. However, the strongest leaders can harness this power to conquer the world. Veg-Heads received the wrath of Suzy week 1. Suzy’s chosen champions were Sir DeAngelo and Sir Antonio and they conquered the vicious “barbarians” according to Suzy. She offered a glimmer of hope to Veg-heads until Monday night when Suzy showed her butchers knife. I mean Suzy’s squad was doing acceptable until Monday night when she unleashed her love potion to inspire her leaders. This crushed Veg-heads into the first lost under new management. Veg-heads could have made a few helpful moves from the bench with Cam Newton leading the way. Sammy Watkins with only 6 pts was the only surprise but outside of this VVs had a decent start to begin the year. Unfortunately for him, he was just on the wrong end of a man trying to impress his “Goddess”. 90* Putters (110) vs. Indian Outlaws (86) Simple fact for the reason why Indian Outlaws lost this game was due to a curse. They better see a witchdoctor this week or this plague of poor performance could continue into week 2 and beyond. We can already see the lasting impact his opponent’s curse has with the loss of his WR2 Keenan Allen. The curse is more around poor performance though with no player earning more than 10 pts outside of Eli’s 16 pts and Zek’s 12 pts… You have top talent and they are sub-par at best. Your bench fared better but it’s obvious this curse only affects active players. Everyone on the IOS team was just plain bad and legit bench moves could’ve helped IOS defeat this trickster. On the other side, 90* Putters was a rollercoaster. AP and Barnidge were 3 and 0, respectively, and Hyde and Baldwin were at around 20 each. With other performances on the average end he could easily beat the curse Indian Outlaws week 1. Unsure what type of power is 90* Putters is using but if he keeps up this rollercoaster ride from his team’s side, we will have to continue to rely on this “magic” for the time being. Big City Hillbillies (131) vs. Twin City Tree Cats (141) We had a David vs. Goliath match up with the Big Boy Hillbillies against the tiny tree cats… as the story predicts the tiny tree cats comes up big with a whopping 141 pts against for the Bigshot Hillbillies. These Hillbillies tried to invade the Twin Cities and the Tree Cats put a stop to that quick. These big city slickers weren’t big enough to beat the home town heroes. Even with the “league” caging TC2s strongest tiger, Le’Veon, but they have shown they can fight dirty and win without their Biggest Cat. Huge points from Woodhead (cheetah), Green (Bengal), and Kelvin Benjamin (panther) helped the TC2 topple a top tier team. Almost no bench help for the TC2 but who needs bench help when you put up 140+ points. BCH had a serviceable week outside of D. Thomas. These hillbillies played big but the Top 2 will need to play bigger to ensure he wins every week. He had a bit of support from Vikings coming up the Mississippi river giving the BCH a huge advantage after those noon games. The TC2 did not waiver when Twin Cities franchise was turned against them. However, can the tree cats defend their home again? We know they can hold their own against a hammer but can they handle a piercing arrow from a raging outlaw. We will have to wait and see. edit. Power RankingsSo these Power rankings will be slightly different this week as we try to iron out which teams are truly on top and which ones are the bottom feeders. Honestly, I was on board to our Chieftain’s post draft power rankings and probably would have produced something similar myself if I had wrote that post. However, that all changed this past week, when every “underdog” team pulled out an upset as noted above. As such, the rankings should be flipped right? Suzy’s Cakes (last in power rankings) powered out the top points of the week… with the number 8 Tree Cats last week putting up the 2nd best score. As such, for this first week I will focus more on team “tiers” and what tier they fall. Basically, anyone in that tier could be interchangeable at least for this week. So if you are last in a tier doesn’t mean you truly deserve that number 10 spot… However, it does still mean you are a bottom feeder as for right now and you better start producing in weeks to come or your playoff chances could be gone in no time… Tier I 1 - Troll Hunters 1-0 (+4) As this is my week to do the post I am going to rightfully claim the top stop (Even though all the top tier teams could rightfully claim the top spot). Key Positives for the Troll Hunters: Denver has actually invested in the run game and the dividends aren’t just preseason show. CJ Anderson isn’t planning on repeating his starting 2015 performance and that is a fact starting off strong against a top 3 Defense of Carolina. Another preseason concern with CJ was the Backfield competition which has since decreased for the time being with Booker getting three carries and fumbling on carry number 1. Gurleyman is still a top RB1 but had a tough time against San Fran… Honestly, SF just knows how to stop strong RBs with no passing threat (ie. Vikings/SF wk1 2015). Gurley will produce but it might just have to start week 3 as LA plays Seattle this coming week. Another positive is that he has WRs for days and all produced except for top WR1 Marshall. With Marvin Jones and newcomer Will Fuller in the mix, any poor performance can easily be supplemented in weeks to come. Biggest concerns is finding a DST that doesn’t hurt this team and needing JJ Watt to be at least average until he is 100%. Nobody wants to waste a bench spot on a DP. Only real concern is still some marginal RB depth from the bench. Eventually this will have to improve but for now he’s got all starting positions covered. 2 - Big City Hillbillies 0-1 (+1) Hillbillies are probably on par with Troll Hunters above but the only real reason he wasn’t number one was that his DST (the one and only Vikes!!) carried him to above average numbers. Julio and DeAndre were good and so were Doug Martin and Ryan Mathews. If at least one or two of these guys could have been great last week he wouldn’t have had a week 1 loss. On his bench, TJ Yeldon had a pretty good performance but this was only because Chris Ivory was a late scratch from the game. This might not be a norm for TJ Yeldon but if it is Hillbillies will have a decent RB2 for those tricky bye weeks. D Thomas is also showing some injury concerns over the weekend that could cause Hillbillies to make riskier line-up moves that could limit his weekly upside. Aaron Rodgers is expected to have another great week and should be a consistent QB with high upside even though was only QB7 this week. Hillbillies has a lot going for him here but an injury or two could shake this team’s foundation. Only DST scoring 22 pts will keep him on top if any of his big hitters goes down. For now though, I see this team producing high scores week in and week out only one week and teams will have to score 135+ to beat him each week. 3 - The Mullynation 0-1 (-2) Mullynation still has a good team but her curse of opponents pulling out all the stops continues into 2016. However, she has plenty of positives coming out of week 1. Andrew Luck turned his lucky horseshoe on against Detroit to earn him 35 pts but remember this is Detroit. We’ll see if he can stay healthy and produce but right now all signs point to yes. Also Ingram should benefit from an increase in workload when NO isn’t playing from behind the entire game. Lastly, Shady was consistent as ever and nuff said. Biggest concerns will be her WR production and whether Jacksonville and Miami can produce like last year. Overall, her WRs underperformed this past week and I would except that they bounce back at least marginally to beat her average opponent. We’ll see if she pull off some lady luck in the coming weeks because all her WR can produce, including her rising start Willie Sneed, but can she make sure to have them in her line-up each week is the real question. Robinson, Maclin, and Landry should have their starting spots but with Rashad and Sneed “trying to make the team” she might have to be gambling each week. We’ll have to wait and see… but overall I don’t have concerns that her team will produce which is why she still owns a spot within the top tier group. Tier II 4 - Northside Angels 1-0 (+2) – Red Belt Holder Honestly, Northside Angels team exceeded my expectations this week without his top draft pick, the Gronk! Drew Breezy played lights out and will help carry this team to victories going forward. David Johnson looked great once again!! Spencer Ware was the back to have pulling in 29 pts. If I was NSA I would be hoping Jamaal Charles stays injured and continue to give this guy the touches. His WR produced consistent numbers but nervous if any will ever have a lights out game. His WRs were getting targets and touches but none were fortunate to twerk in the end zone like the one and only Antonio Brown. At least one should put up a TD most weeks. Whenever Gronk comes back healthy, I can see this team producing above average points each week if at least one WR can sneak into the TD. Isaiah Crowell was surprisingly solid and could be a reliable flex play/bye week fill in weeks to come. The biggest concern is the could be running back committee when Jamaal Charles comes back and overall decreases the “starters” numbers of either of these two individuals. 5 - River Gypsies 0-1 (-3) River Gypies falls hard because I honestly have a lot of concerns about this starting line-up. The only people I do like are Lamar Miller as a sure lock every week. His has the potential to do well if he picks the correct WR each week. Each of these players could be a top 10 WR or more likely fall in the 15-20 range or worse. I like Moncrief and Fitzs but with the WR talent in Indie and Arizona it could be. I mean you have two Indie WRs… valid only if you have injury concerns but would you ever start both of them? I hope not. I’m nervous Dez will even be close to a top 25 WR and last week performance doesn’t help his case. Jeffery and Crabtree are good but we’ve seen rollercoaster weeks/years of these guys so they will need to be consistent for RGs to keep his team in the upper tiers of this very competitive league. Another big concern is the RB situation going forward with the unsettling Devonta Freeman situation (is this CJ Anderson 2015… and its starting to look that way) I mean it’s worth the risk for $6 but having your backup RB as DeMarco Murray isn’t ideal. He might have the starting roll these first weeks but I am still riding the Derrick Henry train who will take over the backfield in week 5 or 6. Calling it right now. We know that RGs players can be great but will they be great this year is a different question. This is the main reason that RGs is still an upper tier team (for now). Tier III 6 - Suzy’s Pancakes 1-0 (+4) The 302 Cadet’s have gained some unholy power after devouring Suzy’s pancakes and her deadly syrup elixir. This new power comes at an unimaginable costs, the Cadet’s have been brainwashed and renamed themselves in honor of their temptress. This team’s new heroes are Sir DeAngelo and Sir Antonio. However, Suzy’s power can only last so long. It has been foretold that Sir DeAenglo will be disowned when his younger brother Le’Veon returns from his pilgrimage. Until the reckoning, this army with wreak havoc to any honorable challenger. After foretelling events, a new champion will have to rise in Sir DeAngelo ashes, if this army wants to continue their reign. Who will rise to Suzy’s challenge? Common soldier, Theo Riddick’s, standout performance could predict the next champion to receive Suzy’s “blessing”. He definitely shows potential but everyone has these “potential” champions on their team, like Abdullah, Murray, Fuller, Sanu, etc. Since this is a weekly ranking looking primarily to the upcoming week, this team’s new found power looks to be red hot coming right out of the oven. Overall, Suzy’s pancakes earned the highest score this week and was rewarded with a nice bump in the power rankings. Additionally, I can see the possibility of putting together a top score in coming week. However, at any time, if either of these two champions falls out of blessing with Suzy or is cursed by a higher power, they could see themselves falling back into the bottom tier. On the flip side, another great week and you can possibly join the elites (in the upper tier VIP rankings). 7 - Indian Outlaws 0-1 (-3) He moves down three spots based on my 3 top concerns. First concern is the WR2 position. Keenan Allen was going to be a solid performer for our half PPR scoring. He’s now gone and Indian Outlaws is looking for his replacement and he doesn’t have much except young blood (Sharpe and Coleman). Both backups have potential and put up average points last week. However, like I have said above, everyone seems to have potential… relying on these unproven talent is risking but Outlaws in backed up into a corner and we’ll see if either of them can become a solid WR2 starter. Second concern is if Melvin Gordon will match or exceed his score week 1 anytime the rest of the year. When the pressure was on I saw Danny Woodhead in the game and not Gordon. Just because he put up 18 points week 1 doesn’t mean that will indicate future success. Once again has potential but the late game reps for Danny Woodhead was concerning as for right now. Lastly, the Seattle backfield situation will be a shot in the dark these next few weeks. Who will win out or will they keep the committee backfield all year… IOS would hope for at least one of these two to step up and become at least a startable RB1/2 to make up for his current WR situation. Lacy/Elliott/ODB were only okay for all their hype. They will need to pick up their fantasy game to avoid IOS receiving the humiliating honor of the lowest score of the week (and losing to the 3rd lowest scoring team as well). 8 - Vicious Veg-Heads 0-1 (-1) Honestly, I originally had you ranked higher but the more I look at this RB situation the scarier and scarier it looks. Forte had a great week one and we were all surprised that there wasn’t too much Powell action. However, as we all know, one week doesn’t make you an instance starter and they paid Powell a lot of money to help out this offense. I would be surprised if I didn’t see his name on the stats more in coming weeks. Also Jeremy Hill has almost no upside in my opinion Gio will always be there stealing points from Jeremy Hill owners… His only redeeming factor last week was a TD but 30 yds is an ouch… However, I don’t know who else he can trust Abdullah had one great game (but so did Theo) as such, another wild card in the mix. Also we all praised Veg Heads for his top WRs who did good outside of Sammy Watkins. The latest concern with him though is that he is still concerned about his foot “feeling hot”. He also confirmed he has no pain but he’s still thinking about it and that worries me to believe that he will be back on the injury list at some point this year. Also when you have the number 1 QB, its hard to not start him and Veg Heads did just that which didn’t help. This moved didn’t hurt you this time because of the Pittsburg showcase but moves like this could keep this franchise near the bottom. Bottom Feeders 9 - Twin City Tree Cats 1-0 (-1) Simply fact is that I am calling this past week’s performance by TC2 a fluke… AJ green at 30 (I expect like 15), Danny woodhead at 21 (I expect like 12), Kelvin Benjamin at 18 (I expect like 12), Stafford and Josh Brown are a wash because I expect Brown to produce at variable (when it’s his week similar to Larry Fitz last week) and Stafford was playing the Indie defense which explains itself. With these “adjustments” TC2 should win (or blow out) average teams. Prove me wrong again and I (or my interns) will move you up a tier. Only until week 4 you have a chance at a upper tier personally when Le’Veon has a “jailbreak” week 4 to remind the rest of the fantasy league why he deserve to be number 1. Outside of Bell on his bench, I have no confidence in anyone to be serviceable for the timing being. I mean your RB2 pick last week was Danny Woodhead or Jay Ajayi. Obviously, Danny is a PPR man but in our half PPR it’s a bit of a toss up. Your best hope is to survive the weeks that Bell is SSPD or on bye and you did much more than that last week. Cheers to you man but if I were a betting man, I wouldn’t expect this type of person week 2… as such you will remain a bottom feeder even after putting up top 2 fantasy numbers last week. 10 - 90* Putters 1-0 (-1) The only difference between me and my “twin” is that I have quality team and win my games through the hard efforts of my players and he on the other hand is a Mother Fuckin' Sorcerer. This was confirmed week 1 this year. You think those 90* putters are bent because of those long lanky arms? No, it’s due to his telekinesis and sorcery . Though he enjoys bending putters to a perfect 90*, his specialty is ruining team’s fantasy hopes and dreams on a week to week basis. He does this by forcing his fantasy opponents to having their worst game of the season against him. We began to question his power last year when he “earned” a first round bye in the play-offs using this same tactic in the regular season. We know it’s not perfected yet as he has yet to win a championship but I believe he is getting close. From what I have heard, from a reliable source, this unknown power was first displayed two years ago when him and is partner combined forces and took the championship scoring no more than 80 pts each game (Standard 10 team league, 3 playoff games). I am warning everyone right now; if we don’t stop him soon this might be 2015 all over again to start the 2016 season. Based on these dirty tricks you deserve to be a bottom feeder. Also TC2 put up way more points than this Dirty Sorcerer. Outside of his dirty sorcery, his team did fine outside of Adrian and Barnidge. Hyde was no surprise to blow up week 1 (similar to last year) but if he can produce and stay healthy post week 1 will be a necessity. Baldwin somehow continued his reign as a top WR and really unsure how he can keep this up. He has a few beams of light with Arian Foster earning the starting role and keeping himself healthy. Emmanuel Sanders could benefit from D. Thomas possibly on the injury this this week. Lastly, Cobb and Decker putting average points up this week. Everyone to me seems average besides AP and as such, you earned a spot near the bottom. Once Brady is your starting QB, Foster stays healthy, and at least one WR somehow becomes a top 10 player, you can maybe stop using your dirty tricks to win game. Even if you continue winning but do so with scores in the bottom 50% of the league you will remain a bottom feeder, feeding off other’s dreams and giving your opponents nightmares. Week 2 Forecast 90* Putters over Suzy’s Pancakes
As noted above the Cadet’s have gained some unknown power so far this season from devouring Suzy’s Pancakes. They will need to be sure to pray for Suzy’s pancakes to give them heroic strength once again in week 2. I predict that they will need every drop of her deadly elixir if dare to challenge the all-powerful Sorcerer in this battle of magic. I have seen this power first hand and believe we need a Hero not a brainwashed army to defeat this evil. Northside Angels over The Mullynation – TITLE FIGHT Gronk will be back to continue the curse against Mullynation. Another big player this week will be Golden Tate (I don’t know why but I have a feeling). I am nervous for Luck at Denver and McCoy will be targeted with the poor Tyrod Taylor performance and Watkins still being “injured”. This will be a tough match-up for Mully. Indian Outlaws over Twin City Tree Cats I want to see the Tree Cats continue their high preforming defense of their home town. However, I believe the raging outlaws will be out for blood after last week’s performance. The only hope is to get the “Eye of the Tiger” from their caged super star Le’Veon and pull together another week like week 1. Honestly, I don’t think it will happen but anything is possible after watching the games last week. Vicious Veg-heads over River Gypsies I believe that River Gypsies can’t get his starting line-up quite right again and loses because he “left” a lot of points on his bench. Newton, Jordy, and Evans will have huge weeks and will lift Veg-heads to a first career win in The RedZone league. However, RGs knowing full well he could have won if he had guessed right now which players to start. Troll Hunters over Big City Hillbillies This will be a burly men (or should I say Gurleymen) showdown between the Hunters and the Hillbillies. Each group of men, have a starting line-up equal to no other. Who will reign champion and claim the top spot in the power rankings week 3. This will come down to DST, kicker, and DP players and the Hunters have been saving their best shot for this week. Be ready for an action back week that ends Monday night with the lone Hillbilly, Mathews, with the weight of the world or a feather on his shoulders to finish these Titan’s match-up. My prediction is former and Mathews will not be able to handle the weight.
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By: Hayden HansonMr. Hayden Hanson (Editor in Chief) is an Accountant-extraordinaire, as well as an aspiring writer. He has written several moderately-successful self-help books, the most famous of which is "What Do You Mean You Can Smell My BO?" Gustav Travers of the New York Times praised the book as "A vulnerable, courageous look into the mind of a man who has literally no sense that other people exist. And also no sense of smell. Nope, he definitely doesn't have that either. Just musk, like a hog that's gotten into the cabbage." Archives
September 2019
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